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My Imaginary Band

January 17, 2011

As it seems to happen, when it rains, it pours. Another friend of mine, Lauren, was found dead this morning.

To amuse/distract myself, I’ve made some album covers to bands that don’t exist.

This is how you do it:

1) Go to Wikipedia and hit random article. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2) Go to and hit random. The last four or five words in the very last quote on the first page is the name of your band’s first album.
3) Go to Flickr and click on explore interesting photos from the last 7 …days. Third picture, no matter what, is your album cover. 4) Use to put it all together

Coalition Government does folksy-metal and pulls it off damn well. They were really big this year at the concert festival circuit.


A Farewell to Legs works the literary bluegrass circuit and does pretty well. It consists of a piano, an upright bass and a ukulele. This is their sophomore album and for the most part, they work out of bars for tips, but they know a guy who knows a record exec.

Judge is a bluesy kind of duo- husband on the acoustic guitar, wife on piano with K.D. Lang style sultry vocals. She performs best after smoking a pack a day. Finding Her Way Back is Judge’s fourth album, the first back after a five year sabbatical while the singer was undergoing chemotherapy. It will receive a Grammy.

Fang Ridge got together in high school in the bassist’s parent’s garage. They make a lot of money, but this third album has taken a while because they have mostly been cracked out on acid. Fang Ridge falls into the weird gap between electronica and reggae.

Battle of Ringmere is fronted by Kelly Clarkson, who has recently gotten a nose job and as a result sounds more like Avril Lavigne with a head cold. Regardless, this first album will go platinum with the hit single, “With a Smile and a Gun (I’ll Kill You)”.

Elinor G Constable (other than being a former US ambassador to Kenya) is, in fact, also a goth/synth pop star who is putting out her fifth album.




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