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World’s Worst Gifts

July 14, 2010

Everyone knows I start looking for the perfect Christmas gifts in July, where we are right now. Some are duds, some are really stellar. I hope, year by year, I’ll keep finding the stellar ones and back away from some of these…things.

Such as:

Smittens.

Smittens are specially made mittens designed so that two people can hold hands inside of one mitten.

I’m serious. If you want, look them up here.

And the Wine Rack.

“Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.”

If you feel the need, you can find it here.

Nexxtttt…. Shocking Arm Wrestling Game

I cannot do any better than their description. The noble pastime of arm wrestling has allowed young men to test their strength and settle arguments in a tried and tested medieval manner. Each competitor puts on the gloves and places their elbows on the pads. Lock hands and flex your muscles and apply your strength to avoid the shock. When one competitor forces the other’s hand down, the losers glove emits a small electric shock. On the back of the glove is a black button that triggers the electric shock when pressure is forced upon it.

sigh. To be found here.

The Bungee Band is next.

This is what your eighty year old Grandma gets for your skateboarder son or boyfriend for Christmas. She’s saying “I love you and want to make the best of your hooligan hobby”. Your son/boyfriend is thinking “I’m going to get the biggest wedgie the world has ever seen.”

Found here.

No. 5: Delilah Noir Barbie

Honor student by day, gothy siren by night. Comes with two wigs: blonde and black. I’ll be buying one for my Katherine this Christmas.

Serious?!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. August 28, 2010 11:26 am

    My daughter was entertained when reading this line on your post “… do any better than their description. The noble pastime of arm wrestling has allowed young men to test …” this is it, you just crushed it down buddy.

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